Good News and Bad News

The bad news first: I am sick. Its shitty and I hate it and I dont want to be anymore but its life. My head is cloggd, my nose drips constantly, I sound like a man when I talk and I just want to sleep my life away but I cant. I dont want to hitch hike to San Sebastian if im sick but its kind of the only option now. Ill be ok, its just a bummer when you feel like shit to sit on the side of a highway watching everyone drive by. I am hoping its just my head and nothing else but I also started vomiting last night just before bed, so....

On the up side my SG set was accepted so I get paid again. Money is always nice but I like it a lot more now that I am traveling. I really think it looks great and if you cant tell I am just a little proud of it. I hope to do another set in Barcelona too! Here are two more pictures from the set! I hope you like them too.





Other than that, I havent done much. Charlotte and Thom are with me in Bordeaux for the weekend. We all argue and fight with eachother which can be annoying but kind of funny too. I think were all happy to be here with eachother its just been stressful and there is nowhere else to focus the negative energy.

We wetn to the coast yesterday. I have never cared much about the ocean, at least not like other people, but yesterday was great. The air really helped my cold but unfortunatley the affects were only temporary. I was shocked to see that it looked a lot like the coast at home. There were a lot of big waves and people were surfing. I always thought the Atlantic was supposed to be calm and warm. Shows what I know....

I am looking forward to spending my Tuesday not doing anything! I plan to sleep and drink tea all day. Maybe I'll get a little reading done too! Hopefully that will be enought to save me on Wednesday.

Tomorrow i need to get new shoes. I found a nail in the bottom of my shoe today and it wore a hole in my foot so I think I should probably get around to finding new ones before it gets any worse. I am also hoping that the hole in my foot isnt all tetnis-y because that would not make for a fun time! I dont think its that bad but you never know with metals!!

I also need a new shirt or two. I have three and one now has holes in it. I would usually ignore this sort of thing but the holes are right on my boob. I cant very well walk around looking like that! So, tomorrow I go on a shopping adventure. Hopefully I wont end up in a french jail or wearing an old mans shirt made of itchy wool. I have no idea what Im talking about! I think its time to go to bed.



on an entirely unrelated note, i just thought i would share with you a funnly little thing. I started eating pickles. not the big sweet nasty ones you find on hamburgers in the US but these nice little sour ones. I like them a lot and can eat a whole jar in one sitting if Im not careful. I can hear everyone who has known me for more than a few months gasping with horror right now. I know. It shocked me too. But they are so damn good! I still dont eat mustard, its gross and i dont want to like it, but im coming around to a lot of new foods....

Thoughts of the Moment

I have been talking a lot lately about my feelings on activism and what i want to be doing with my life. Believe it or not, I sometimes feel like I am wasting time. Days and weeks go by and sometimes I feel like I havent done anything with meaning or substance.
all of this has helped me to understand what is important to me but not how to apply it to my life. I am not ready to come home (where ever that is) and settle into a life of activism. this all sound so trite but its how i feel and im not sure where to go from here. Its been a long time coming but i think I am ready to call myself an anarchist. (Welch dont wet yourself...) I dont like putting myself into little categories where there isnt much room to express yourself but the more I talk about my political beliefs the more I think its something I can stand by.

On a more upbeat and unrelated note, a few of the people I have made friends with here are talking about meeting me in India in August. that means, if you have been following my plans, I will not be in japan in September after all. I have no idea what i want to do anymore but the longer I can stay out of the US the better! Anyway, they have been talking about taking a trip together to come meet me in India for the month of August! I would like it very much but I also know that its a long way off and will take a lot of money.

the new plan/idea/dream/whatever is to take my time through asia and head south to australia instead of north to japan. I can work in australia for the winter (their summer) and then turn around and make my way back to Europe the way i came (or something similar)! it all depends on money (like everything in this backward world) and a few other factors.

there are many more things i want to share with all of you but I am out of time! I am off to make cupcakes!

Busy Busy Busy Little Bee....

To start, lets talk about my finger! I thought it was starting to get better but now it looks like the chunk that was cut off is not going to reatach. the guys have taken to calling me blueberry finger because it looks like an old rotting blueberry on the tip of my finger. Lovely, I know. Someone brought up the fact that it would be kind of cool because Id lose the feeling and could do rad stuff with it. Looking on the bright side of things is good. It doesnt hurt at all anymore unless i really push on it or something.

The guys will be coming with me to Bordeaux on Friday. I am excited to get to a new place and to meet new people but a little sad to leave too. we spent hours taking funny pictures the other night. I dont know why they are all in black and white but they turned out well. I have spent so much time with all of them that i feel like I have three french brothers looking after me all the time. They have gotten better about not being too protective so I dont feel so much like a child.

Charlotte and I have been spending a lot of time together the last few days. She is a wonderful girl to just talk to and eat pancakes with! There is another girl here who is trying to find a place to stay in SF this spring so if you know of a place or want to trade with her for a place in Paris, let me know and I can put you in contact with her. Its strange to get along so well with a large group of girls but its refreshing at the same time.

My lessons in french are continuing. I still read childrens books constantly, with a dictionary, but i think i have made a lot of improvements! I can sometimes pick up on conversations and i can occasionally ask for something or respond but thats about it. I had great fun last night at the dinner party talking to so mandy different people and learning new little phrases from them!

Speaking of the party last night: it was lovely! I was very shy at the beginning because Im the only person to not speak french but most people were very nice and helped me once they knew I was trying. The girls managed to get me to wear a dress and stockings for the party! I would have stayed in the dress but changed after a few hours because I was freezing.
I met a wonderful girl, Claudia, at the party. We spent the better half of the party talking about racism and politics. It was great to have someone to talk to about serious issues again. I feel a little alone when it comes to 'serious' talk. Its hard to discuss that sort of thing with the language barrier. Anyway, Charlotte's party was a success! we all ate too much and drank just enough and laughed all night!!!

If you cant tell i am very excited right now and im having trouble focusing. Sorry.

I finally got new pants yesterday. It was way past due. I dont like the new ones as much but the are pants and thats whats important. Now I just need to find new shoes. Easier said than done.


Im having a really hard time focusing right now so Ill have to leave it at that.

The Dinner Party