Tuesday, September 1, 2009

DC was a blast. It was so great seeing so many wonderful people and getting to spend quality time with them. I made Indian food one night and hung out with everyone all together. A lot of my relationships have changed in the course of the past eight months but most were for the better. I made a lot of friends as well and Im always happy about that. I also watched the entire first season of True Blood. Vampires are so cool.

New York has been equally rewarding. Surprising, I know. While I haven't had enough time here to really get to know people I have seen some good friends, met people Id like to get to know better and eaten more vegan ice cream than I ever should have. Perfect if you ask me. As always I wish I had more time here but my life is all about moving and changing. Everything is temporary.

Tomorrow is my flight to Portland. Its been said a million times before and Ill say it again, Im nervous about going back. Things have changed a lot and Im not sure what it will mean for my time there. I have plans to see friends in Seattle and possibly SF but if I cant take it after the "family camping trip" Ive decided Ill make my way out to the East Coast again.

I am a fickle lady. Being back is messing with my mind and I don't know what I want anymore. Its great to have no obligation and to be able to do whatever tickles my fancy at any given moment but right now its a lot. Ive had a lot of fun so far and wish it could never end.

I have missed my friends and soon Ill realize how much I miss my family as well. This has put me into an existential crisis over my life.

What is more important to me: seeing the world and meeting new people? OR my connections with the people I care about?

I miss being known and knowing people. I miss having time and space to complete or work on projects. I miss making friends for more than a few days. I miss not lowering my standards for company because Im lonely (no one should assume this is them).

Dont get me wrong. I love traveling and seeing the world and Im no where near finished but maybe its time for a break. Who knows. Maybe in another week Ill change my mind again. Knowing me, that will be the case.

For now my excitement is getting the best of me. To see my family and friends and to shoot another SG set and to ride bikes...etc. etc. Yay!

2 comments:

farrellvegan said...

the books are better than the tv show. i love all the actors except for sookie. bleh, shes so horrible.

Ticktockman said...

You seem to be able to live in whatever moment you find yourself, so I say, just keep living those moments. Don't worry so much about whether you'll change your mind one day to the next. Take a little break and see if a pattern develops one way or the other, then follow your muse. Take care,

-TTm