Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Fuck Christmas

Yeah, that's right. You heard me.

I probably shouldn't be as bitter as I am but seriously, fuck christmas.

Grocery stores close early, if they open at all, everyone is busy with their families, people acquire useless crap that will only break and end up in a dump later. Not to mention that it is a christian holiday that is shoved down every one's throats.

My christmas eve has been spent walking to the store to get food so I can eat tomorrow, showering and trying to get rid of the nasty case of athletes foot I have from too much time in the hot tub. Fun. (I know, FWP.) I also drank a whole bottle of sparkling cider to myself. I would have preferred champagne but when staying in a straightedge house, its probably not a good idea to get drunk.

On the up side, I think I will end up spending tomorrow the way I want. The original plan was to hang out with the DPC (Dead Parent Club) watching movies and eating ourselves silly. But I haven't talked to Trey or Ian in days and I am not so sure that is what I want to do after all.

Christmas aside, things are going well. I have been very happy the past few days. I was unsure of my hair cut but I like it now. Its still a little short for me but it will grow and it looks good now too. I also got myself a little gift for the holiday today. I have a really heavy winter hat but I wanted something that was a little more versatile so I got a plain black beanie. I also got black hoop earrings. I always forget how much I like earrings.

Jake and I got to hangout for a day or so before he had to go to Virginia Beach to see his dad. Things are going well with us. There are plenty of things to talk about but its great to know that we will remain friends for a very long time.

The thing that takes the cake though, is my new tattoo!!! I have wanted this tattoo for a while but was waiting to get to Silver Spring as an extra tribute to my grandmother. She spent a lot of time in this area when she was young so I waited until now.

Miss Tina Pell did it and I am pleased with her work. It was a first traditional piece for both of us! I absolutely love it. I also absolutely love my grandma!

Mamo is a wild woman. For anyone who ever thought I was a little crazy, you should know that I get it honestly, from both Mamo and my mother. Mamo used to belly dance on cruise ships, chase young men around, rub elbows with the stars and more. And I am sure I don't even know half of it!

Anyway, I like my tattoo and my hair cut and hopefully I will like my christmas too.

I usually try to volunteer on christmas day but this year I totally forgot about it until it was too late. I have started to feel weird about choosing to volunteer on christmas day anyway. I mean, I can donate my time and help out any time of the year. I should but I don't. Everyone wants to do some good during the holidays even though they don't really think about it or care to think about it the rest of the year.

My privilage is something I try to be aware of so I can better understand my place in the world and how I affect others lives. But in that I have become somewhat hyper aware and now feel weird about being some white, upper middle class woman stepping in to make the world a better place.

DC is a poverty ridden city. Most of the people here are poor, minority groups and I feel strange stepping in to "help out" for a few hours, not knowing anything about the community or people here. I can speculate and try my best to relate but I will never truly know what it is like and therefore have no place telling the community what it needs.

I am aware that this is a slippery slope and I shouldn't let that stop me from trying to participate in something good. I just think it is important for me to completely explore my feelings and options before I make a regrettable decision.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

New Hair and Hot Tub Party

Okay. So, I'm back. And I will try my best to go back to updating on the regular. Sorry for the hiatus.

My weeks have been lonely and somewhat boring until yesterday. I have spent most of my time feeling awkward around people who I want to call friends. Most of them I don't know very well at all and feel like they are getting the wrong impression of me. It's a vicious cycle that I really want to break.

Anyway! I have made an endless array of baked goods and tasty treats for people, read some interesting pieces of literature, watched movies and listened to great music. I would say that my days here are getting better and after last night I am pleased to be where I am!

A bunch of the people I have gotten to know here played a show last night. It was interesting to say the least. I actually really enjoyed the show but trying to interact on a social level with some people there was difficult. I mostly just mean that many of the people who are in the "punk/hardcore" scene have nothing else to talk about. Its like they cant relate to anyone who doesn't know all the lyrics to every Minor Threat or Black Flag song. I enjoyed the show none the less.

The show was followed by Ethiopian food and a naked hot tub party. I was happy to be naked (its been way too long) and in a big tub of warm water! There were about 15 of us all in our birthday suits. It was wonderful being with friends, naked and totally comfortable.

Sorry (or maybe thankfully), there are no pictures of the show or party.

Today, I woke up to Joanna at the house ready to cut my hair.

I know, I know, I know. I was going to let it grow but I just couldn't take it any longer! It gets everywhere. It's always in my way and I just wanted it gone!

Im not sure how to feel about it just yet....
What do you think?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

The Secret Is Out

Well, I guess since I have been talking about it and it's not like it is a secret anymore, I should let the cat completely out of the bag..... Jake and I broke up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know you're sorry and all that. Really, its great. Not the not having a friend part but the part where I get to think/worry about myself part.

We are still friends, so you don't need to get all weird or anything.

Any questions?

*BTW: I do feel shitty about posting this like a piece of hot news. I just don't want to keep explaining it to everyone over and over again. If you are truly concerned and/or want to know something, just call.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

New Blog

I have started another blog. The new one will be recipes and ideas for cooking and baking.

Stay tuned. And, you know, once there are some things up... let me know what you think!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Feeling Better

Life is wonderful. Yesterday I made apple pie and thoroughly enjoyed myself. There is something magical about pie for me, no matter how bummed I might be, as soon as I make a pie everything feels better. It may have something to do with the fact that everyone else gets really happy stuffing themselves with baked fruit and crust.

Today, I woke up to Welch making pancakes. If you haven't had pancakes a la Welch, you should. They were very good. Fancy even, with strawberries.

So I am finished being a sour puss and pouting. I have made the right decision and will stick to it because I know that it really is what I want and I should be happy about it.

It helps that I have realized that I am among friends. Or, I should say, realized that the people I am with do care and don't hate me for walking away. (Yes, I was worried about that. Don't judge me.)

All in all, I am much happier today. Everything is looking up. I might make some money this week after all and I get to go to New York on Friday. What could be better? OK, I know, not freezing cold weather...

Saturday, December 6, 2008

"Emost" statement of the Century.

Ahh. It's Saturday and I am back in DC. It is dark and snowing and the white powder on everything make the world seem clean and bright. I usually hate the snow but this time it isn't bothering me. I really want it to snow, a lot.

I have started to feel better about things in general but I still get all mopey when I dont have much going on. I have a million things to sort out and probably need to take the time to actually do that, its just easier said than done.

On the up side, I am very excited to be in DC for the week. Matt is here and we are getting along really well. It has been comforting to have him around to talk to about everything. We are finally talking and being friends in a way that I haven't had with Matt in a long time. Welch is also here and I am excited to have the opportunity to get to know him better.

As for sorting things out, I have sorted out what I think I want to do with my life. I am not quite ready to reveal my plans to world but lets just say that I want to become financially independent and I want to go to school. I want to continue traveling too and I think I have started to figure out how to do all of this!

Sometimes life stats making sense and seems to be coming together beautifully but then I remember that everything else is falling apart around me.

Thursday, December 4, 2008


Not a whole lot has happened since I met Flynn in DC. Mostly I have been sitting in Elizabeth and Joanna's apartment reading, listening to music and doing a lot of thinking.

Life here is even slower for me than Asheville was. I suppose there is nothing wrong with that, I am just ready to get back to the city and the hustle of too many people.
I am tired of thinking. When I am in the mix of a city, everything is too fast paced to settle into the depressing thought of winter and life.

I finally called home the other day. My mother had called a few times so I talked to her in the only place on the campus I get reception, the top of a wet grassy hill on the other side of the campus. I even made the effort to call some friends from along my travels.

It was refreshing to talk to people who aren't terribly involved in my life. Its easier to tell them what I want about my life and leave it at that (without feeling obligated to say more). I could do that here too, but I prefer letting my dirty laundry air out here because I don't have to see/hear reactions until later. Plus this is a little like a diary...and I pretend none of you actually look at this. :)

My plan from here is to head back to DC on Saturday. I want to find somewhere to work for the week, hopefully make an extra five or six hundred dollars, and then head to NY. I decided to do the Boston thing, which means I will be there after NY. Extra money is always nice. By the end of all of that, it will almost be Christmas....

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Half Naked Push Ups and Champagne Drunk

My hair is getting long and I hate it. I have decided that I will let it grow while on this "journey." While I am not sure why, and I certainly don't like it long, it just seems like the right thing to do.

I haven't done much the past few days. Actually, that is a lie. It just feels like I haven't done much.

Thanksgiving was a bust, but then again, it always is. I went to Celeste's house (Ian's girlfriend) for the day. We made a ton of food but also drank too much champagne and forgot to eat. It wasn't bad spending the day with her. I just would have enjoyed being alone with Elliott Smith better....

The plan to make candy corn failed miserably. The dough wouldn't harden and I ended up with a puddle of yellow and orange sugar. I will attempt it again when I get back to DC and hopefully it will work this time! I really just want to make it so I can send little bags of it to my vegan friends around the country. If I could send pie, cookies and things of that nature, I would.

The up side to Thanksgiving was seeing Jill again. She got to Asheville that night and I went with her back to Charlotte.

If you didn't know, Charlotte, NC is the most boring place I have ever been. There is NO Nightlife. NO Bars, NO Shows, NO Vegan Spots, NO Young people worth meeting!
Jill and I looked so hard to find somewhere to hangout that we resorted to searching "hipseter bar" to find a place to go. In the end we watched The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. Very hip if you ask me.

The train is becoming one of my favorite places/things to do. I know its nothing like hopping trains, which I would like to try next summer, but it gives me time to think, plan and reflect. The past few months have pushed me to really think about the relationships I have with the people in my life and what I want out of them.

My relationships are suffering. I recognize that. I am not entirely sure what I want anymore but I am also not ready to give this trip up or settle so I can be comfortable. The result: hurting people out of selfishness.

There was a very big shift in my life a few days ago, (You will have to forgive my being so vague) and now more than ever I can't tell what it is I REALLY want. I hate how sure you can be of something and then everything changes in an hour....

Anyway, sorry for that little emo tidbit and I will go back to giving the guided tour of my life:

I took the train for Charlotte back to DC. I saw some friends and hung out for a day, went to a party filled with shitty Chads and watched four guys prove thier manhood to eachother with push ups. The last part was funny more than anything.

Welch also gave me my first comic book. It is called "Y: Unmanned." Its about a guy who is the last man on earth. I am hooked and may start spending my money on comics instead of travel. Just kidding. I do really like this particular comic and I will try my best to finish the series at some point. Thanks Welch.

As of now, I am sitting at St. Mary's College in St. Mary's City, Maryland. I came to see Ms. Elizabeth Brunner and Mr. Flynn Knight Collins. It is 1:25am on a Sunday. I think I am the only person awake for miles. Historically speaking, I am a night owl. I like to stay up until 4am and sleep until 11 or noon. There is something comforting about the dark. Anyway, everyone else is asleep and I am so bored and awake that I am about to start reading Coin Locker Babies again. Not that I have a problem with that....

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Asheville, NC for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is just a day away and I still don't know what I am doing. Ian will be working all day so I have three choices:
1. Hang out with his girlfriend at her house and make food.
2. Hang out with his roommate and her parents.
3. Hide in his room and not have to explain to people why I get moody and depressed on Thanksgiving.

Each of those has its drawbacks.

What I really want to do is buy a bottle of wine and spend the day ALONE cooking and making vegan candy corn. I would listen to all my favorite depressing songs really loud, get drunk and cry for a while before overloading on sugar and starchy food.

I am certain this plan appeals to no one but me.

So far Asheville has been nice. It has been wonderful to see Ian and relax for a few days. We have done a lot of just hanging out. I have met a bunch of his friends and cooked him real meals and listened to his band practice. We worked on a new set for SG together and I think it will come out well. Other than that, I haven't done much since I got here.

My only complaint is that the slow living here gives me too much time to think about things. Where my life is going, what I want out of it, my relationships with people, plans for next year when I get back....

I have taken on some new work in the last few weeks. I still have plenty of money, but as most of you know, I dont like to see the number shrink. So I keep working.

Some of you don't want to know, so I suggest you stop reading here.

I have started doing work over the phone. Yes, phone sex. I like it. Its easy and really silly. I have a hard time not laughing. I set up an account last week and the company I go through sends calls to my cell. I can work virtually anytime, anywhere, when I feel like it. Its completely anonymous too. They never get my phone number or email. It does use my minutes but at roughly $100/hr. and no contact, I can handle upping my plan.

Besides that I have a few appointments for panties in DC and a guy in Boston who wants me to go up there and do dom work for a weekend. I haven't done anything like it before but I think I could get into it... especially because he doesn't want to have sex. I will spend the next few weeks thinking about it and decide then.

Yay! Money! I am such a capitalist. Yuck.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I never know what to expect anymore.

Saturday, November 15th.

Oooohhhh... The day of the Baroness show! So good.

I went up to Devon St. for lunch with Hugh and Taylor and their friends Patrick and Belinda. We walked up and down the road for almost an hour in 30 degree weather, plus wind chill, trying to find the cheapest buffet with vegetarian options. Finally, we found one for $6 and I ate samosas and fried spinach cakes until I though I would burst. Devon St is famous for being the Indian district of Chicago so all the food and shops are small and pretty authentic.

After lunch, which ended up being more like dinner, we headed back to the house where I waited for Daniel and Tega to pick me up for the show. Before we went to the show, we stopped at the Virgin Mary water mark. It is now a shrine but a few years ago, apparently, the Virgin appeared in a water make under a freeway overpass. It looks like her to me. Anyway, that was rad. I didn't have my camera but I took one with my phone.

The Baroness show was great. The sound was a little off, even I could tell, but I enjoyed it all the same. They played with Coliseum and another band I cant remember. Coliseum was really rad. I didn't know I liked them.... Maybe I am starting to like metal. Weird.

We stopped by a party after the show. I got all freaked out by some woman and her husband. I introduced myself and she went all crazy and told me I was beautiful in a weird way. I get bashful because it was in the middle of a group of people who were trying to have a conversation. She kept pushing the issue and I kept saying thanks because what else am I supposed to say? Her husband decided to join in too. I just wanted to leave. At some point I was talking to some girl about my travels and the husband guy came over and asked me "So, who takes care of you?" I told him I took care of myself, but that wasn't good enough. I wanted to punch him in his fucking patriarchal, hippy-dippy, wine drinking fucking face. What a jerk.

Back at the house, I vented about the party and ate three cloves or raw garlic to chase my cold away.

Sunday, November 16th.

Oh boy. I went to the house of a person I met on She wasnt' awful by and means. She just wasn't my cup of tea. Really it was her friends I didn't like. They were liberal muggles to the max. Sorry if this is you.
They were extremely gossipy, talked about how Obama was going to save this country, and how racism doesn't exist anymore. They talked about the people they know, name dropping, and wasted the food they put on their plates. Julia was great, until her friends came over. Oh well. We made an apple pie sort of thing with a sweet potato crust.

When I got home, I ended up hanging out with some of the Lowercase kids until 3am.

The rest of my days in Chicago were pretty much the same. I did a lot of staying up late and sleeping until noon. I hung out with the Lowercase kids, sometimes not leaving the house at all. It got really cold there in those few days, so going out wasn't very appealing. I did finally go out to lunch at the Chicago Diner. It was good. Pretty much typical vegan food. And I went to a potluck at Voku, another collective/info shop.

I left Chicago on Wednesday. I was really starting to like it there but a week is a good amount of time to see a city. Its not like there was a whole lot to do anyway. The train ride from Chicago to DC wasn't bad. I managed to sleep a little but certainly not enough. From DC, I took a PM train down to Charlotte, NC. I met some nice people in the train station while I was waiting for the sun to come up. No, I did not sleep at all.

When the sun finally came up, it was time to hitch to Asheville. I managed to make it to Asheville in under three hours. My first ride was to the highway from the train station. My second ride was half way up I-77. The third was in a semi, which by the way is awesome, to the 77 I40 junction. I walked down the loop, to the other side of the over pass and had a ride. I waited less than 5 minutes between each ride. I was in Asheville by 9:30am.

Also, I found out that my SG set went up on the frond page while I was making my way down here. I get paid $500, which is the part I am excited about, and I now officially have Suicide Girl status. I think its really funny they named me July. I'm still unsure how I feel about being a "suicide girl"....

Other than that, it's great to see Ian. I am looking forward to our adventures!

Friday, November 14, 2008


Sunday, November 9th.

The original plan was to get up early and go out to the Grand Canyon. I was really, really excited to get out there again, but as fate would have it, we did not go. We all got up early to find a storm in the sky. It was going to be raining and possibly snowing all the way there. Scratch that plan.

As a replacement plan, we went out to Ronald's, the vegan doughnut place. They were so good!!! It was almost worth missing the Grand Canyon for them! I ate two and took three with me.

Since I still needed to catch a train somewhere in Arizona, Liz, Winter and Elise decided to take me to Kingman. Kingman is a tiny town just two hours from the border of Arizona and Nevada. I was really tired and kind of fell asleep on the drive, missing the Hoover Dam and most of the scenery. Thankfully, I had seen it before.

We arrived in Kingman, where it was way too cold, windy and boring. We went to eat at a little Mexican place that didn't ask for ID when we ordered drinks and I'm sure most of the food wasn't vegan. You win some, you lose some.

I found a hotel to sit in while I waited for the train and said my goodbyes to the girls. The hotel is this awesome little spot just a few yards from the station. Its super haunted, as I found out. If you want to know that story, your going to have to actually call me for it.

The train was late, and came at 3:45am instead of 3:05am. Yeah! Chicago, here I come.

Monday, November 10th.

I sat on a train all day! Saw some beautiful landscapes, saw a lot of nothing, slept. Yeah.

Tuesday, November 11th.

The train finally got to Chicago in the afternoon. It wasn't as cold as I thought it would be, or windy. I made my way to Lowercase, the house I am staying at. It is a punk collective. I was a little apprehensive at first but they are really great kids and not nearly as pretentious or unwelcoming as the punk kids in Portland.

We made dinner and watched Summer Storm, which I highly recommend.

Wednesday, November 12th.

My SG set went up today. It was a weird feeling and I had forgotten all about it until I checked my email and had 91 unread messages. Hmmm... Still don't know how I feel about that. Anyway, its up now and I have gotten some good reviews.

I went with some of the kids that live at Lowercase to a Korean market. It was super rad. I bought greasy seaweed to eat and some vegan spicy ramen noodles. Yummy.

From there, Hugh took me to the Harold Washington Library! Nine floors of books! Greatest building ever! I really liked it and spent three hours there.

Once the glory of the library wore off, I decided to wander around downtown for a while. I of course got somewhat lost but quickly found myself again when I got to the train station.

From there I went to meet up with Andy, a guy from the wonderful I don't think I like that website much. I have yet to meet anyone I would want to stay with for more than 24 hours.... He and his girlfriend were nice, really nice, in fact. Just a little weird. Whateves. Their friend Kelsey was pretty rad. I want to hang out with her again before I leave!

I got lost on the way back to Lowercase. I usually have a good sense of direction but the Logan Square stop is shit. There are three streets at the intersection and no way to tell which way is which from the stop! I called Jake for directions but that didn't help and ended up talking to a cop. He wasn't much help either. I finally called Kevin and he got me home. Thank god.

Back at Lowercase, people stay up really late. I got home and wanted to go to bed early but ended up hanging out in the kitchen until 5am.

Thursday, November 13th.

After waking up to an empty house and showering, I made my way to the Garfield Park Conservatory. Its just a really big greenhouse. Lots of exotic plants and cacti. The whole place smelled of fresh dirt and made me miss gardening.

It was getting late so I headed downtown to wait for the Art Institute to open for free hours. I stopped in a Borders to kill time and met two really nice women. They are in their late 20's and well traveled. We talked for a while and I plan to call they while I am here.

I don't really get museums. I know I should. And I still go to them but they just aren't that interesting. I wandered through the Art Institute for almost two hours. Its nice to say that I have been there, but I am not as taken with the paintings as I probably should be. They look exactly the same as they do in books. They are just bigger in person.

I like historical sculpture. They have some old Greek and Roman statues and a mummies coffin. That stuff was cool. And I liked the African art, but I guess I just don't care about famous paintings. I went. I wouldn't go back but I'm sure Ill end up in another museum before I am through.

This kid Austin met up with me at AIC. He is nice and we walked around killing time until a free string quartet concert started. It turns out the show was terrible and I should have gone the the Cunt Collective House to see the BeeHive Collective talk about their art. They are doing it again on Saturday but I think I might go to a Baroness show instead.

I went home after the concert and hung out with everyone until way too late. I am finding that I really like these kids. Not everything is about the movement and they seem to be a very welcoming bunch. Its not nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.

My only complaint is that they have a serious mouse infestation. Its a typical punk house where dishes never get done and there is always a mess. This does not help with the mice.

Friday, November 14th.

Today was a lazy day that almost felt like a holiday. I went to the store with Tega to retrieve pie ingredients and went back to the house. We made lasagna and pie all day. It was Taylor's birthday and Rugrat is moving so they had a party. Everyone brought food and the food and conversation were great. We played a game called the Village, which took way too long but proved to be epic in the end. Hugh managed to manipulate 20 people and turn them against each other and win in the end.

I have spent most of my time here feeling very indifferent and apathetic. I am not really stoked on anything but not really bummed out either. I like it here just fine. I want to come back again at some point but as far as feeling the way I did in SF...we are far from it. It doesn't help that I haven't pooped since I before I left Vegas. I know you wanted to know that. But I think I would feel a lot better if I could. Being physically uncomfortable, as well as socially and mentally, doesn't make for a good time.

I know I cant expect to fall in love with every place I go. And I have only been here a couple of days so I know the feeling would pass. It just doesnt make me terribly happy to be here. I am having a hard time getting excited about seeing all this new stuff. LIke the museums, I dont really seem to care anymore. I never want to see the tourist sights but I always feel obligated to. I am just not getting excited about the little things I think. (Although, I will say I am excited about the El. I really like the aesthetics of the public transit system here. I don't know why....)

Today was the first day that I think I really enjoyed myself. Making pie and spending quality time with the folks here really helped. I am hoping that tomorrow will be just as warm and that the Baroness show will be rad!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Vegas Pictures.

Vegas Baby!

Thursday, November 6th.

Elise and I went hiking on this really rad trail that let to some hot springs. It was a really nice hike although, it was dangerous at times. The trail is clearly marked but there a spots that you have to climb down a wall of rock with a rope that has been left there by other hikers. Kind of scary at times.

At the end of the trail are hot springs. It definitely makes the hike well worth the hour of walking in the sand to get there. I undressed and climbed right in. Elise, on the other hand, is a little more modest and wore her swim suit. There was another hiker already there but it didn't bother me much.

The hike back was a little more difficult. My muscles were all relaxed and like Jello on the walk back.

We were supposed to go to Skymania that night but by the time we got back we were exhausted. I made dinner and went to bed early.

Friday, November 7th.

Most of the day was boring. I had a doctor's appointment to go to and that was it. When I got back to the apartment, I spent the afternoon doing laundry, doing yoga (really I was just stretching in interesting ways), and going origami. I got some nice paper so I though I would try it.

Mamo (that is what I call my grandmother), arrived in Vegas that evening. I had agreed to meet her and John on The Strip to have dinner and spend some time with them. She is turning 70 on the 13th. I got as dressed up as I could to meet them. We had dinner in one of the casinos and I, of course, had a hard time finding vegan food. I eventually found a vegi burger that didn't have cheese and ate that.

Mamo ordered us drinks and I decided to have a nice bourbon on the rocks. After dinner I took her down to the Ballagio fountain. She loved it. It is pretty at night and much more entertaining than during the day.

I really hate Vegas. Or I hate the Las Vegas Strip. It is just awful! In every way! Ninety percent of the people there are overweight slobs. I am sure I sound like a jerk saying this and I am definitely being size-ist, but those people are fat, lazy and disgusting.

Las Vegas is like a playground for spoiled kids that just want, want, want. It is gluttonous and made me feel gross for being a part of it. Every inch is a plastic, corporate commodity there to temporarily fill the void in peoples souls. I enjoyed my time with my grandmother. And I did enjoy a few of our activities but after last night, I do not ever want to come back here again.

That said, Mamo and I went for drinks at Cesar's Palace. I drank more expensive bourbon and we listened to like jazz at one of the many bars. We were having "a gay old time," as she would say, but for whatever reason made our way back to her hotel.

We got all the way upstairs and I wanted to go out and make a phone call. She thought I was going out to continue the party and came with. Back in the casino.

I do not gamble. I don't like anything about it. It makes me nervous and stressed out. Its not that I don't like taking chances at all, I just don't like to risk my money. If I don't gamble, its mine, I can keep it and know that its not going anywhere. My grandmother on the other hand, likes to gamble and doesn't like to do it alone.

She was giving me money all night to play with. You would think I would relax and gayfully lose her money for her but no. I stressed.

We played Black Jack at a $25 minimum table. I had never played before and had some beginners luck. And then I lost it all. I would have walked away, but no, everyone else wanted to keep going. I was playing with other peoples money and drinking free bourbon and still couldn't relax. There is something very wrong with me.

Our night over all was spend drinking, gambling and hitting on rich older men (older than me but younger than her...). I think it was a good time!

(If you are interested, you can ask me more about my night gambling but I just don't want to put all of it up here on public display.)

Saturday, November 8th.

Oh, lordy. I can drink juice and have a hangover. I woke up sore and thirsty. Mamo and John had snored all night but I didn't notice once. Thankfully I woke up to a cup of coffee. It was cheap, Krispy Kreme drip coffee but it had caffeine none the less.

We make out way up The Strip to a Denny's. I dont know why. Aparently, in Vegas, places you would never usually go are acceptabe because they are covered in glitter and flashing lights. I had a hell of a time finding vegan options on the menu. I ended up with oatmeal and applesauce, oh yeah, and nasty drip coffee. It was food and I was happy to eat, I am just spoiled and miss having breakfast at The Paradox.

We walked up and down the strip. I took them to see the Forum shops in Cesar's and the Pussycat Doll's casino. We stumbled upon it but it seemed to make John's day so I am going to take credit for it.

After too many hours of walking, we went back to the hotel and found a bar in the casino. We sat and I drank Shirly Temples while they got trashed. It was nice to see my grandmother again. She is an amazing woman with too many wild stories to count. I have nothing on her when it comes to wild times. I think I am being wild when I get too drunk and bite someone. She isn't even too wild when she is on coke, dancing on the bar on a cruise to the Bahamas and getting it on with some waiter who doesn't speak English. The women in my family know how to party. Except me (for some strange reason). Let's not even start on my mother.

Liz came down to pick me up and go out to dinner. We went to VegiDelight, a vegan Vietnamese place in Chinatown. Chinatown, by the way, is a strip mall with pagoda style roof tops. The food was really good and I was happy to eat food that didn't come with a million questions.

Tomorrow, we will drive out to the Grand Canyon. From there I will make my way to Flagstaff and Phoenix. Then it is on to good old Chicago where I will be freezing my butt off!