Just a wee bit scared

People tell me Im brave a lot. And I never know what that means. Its strange for me to think of my own bravery or courage because, in fact, I think I am the opposite. Courage, as defined by the american dictionary, is 'the state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.'

Its not bravery because it doesnt scare me to travel alone. Not knowing where I am doest bother me and I have no problem being on my own making decisions. What scares me in life is sharing parts of myself with others.

I have been offered the opportunity to write for a web based magazine, starting in the fall. I really want to contribute but the more I think about it the more I want to back out.

I have never been good at sharing certain parts of myself. 'Talents' or 'skills' that show how smart someone is is where I get nervous. I've never considered myself a terribly smart or clever girl, nor have I ever thought I was good at much. Its like Im ok at everything. The idea of writing articles and posting them on the internet scares the hell out of me. My words up for critique?

Its completely different keeping a blog or writing about my day to my friends. I dont have to worry about writing formally because its not meant to be anything. But writing articles for something, well, thats formal and I just dont know if I have the gumption for it.

This all sounds so stupid when its written out like this but its been weighing on my mind for some time now. Im not sure if I am ready to put myself out there to be shot down and laughed at. And even if they dont laugh, what the hell am I going to write about thats so interesting anyway?

Funny, coming from the girl who apparently fears nothing....

I have a while to decide. And I think Im going to be brave and try it anyway, even though Im scared as hell. But rest assured that I wont be telling any of you about how to find it until Im totally comfortable (read: confident).